A Week in the Life of Nora

Thursday.

11. Got up quite early. Had a cigarette, breakfast, another cigarette in the livingroom.

13. Went into town with the new German housemate, Lisa. Showed her around, helped her hand out her cv’s. Went to the NHS and got tested for everything I could get tested for. New supply of free condoms and pills.

18. Cooked dinner for me and Lisa. She loved it.

18.30. Make first layer of my present for friend tomorrow. Vodka-jelly.

19. Started my essay that was due in at 15.00 the next day.

22. Struggling with my essay. Make second vodka-layer.

Friday

00. Eating, smoking, drinking tea.

00.30.  Back to essay.

02. Made a whole pot of tea.

04. Realised I forgot about the tea. Eat again.

06. Smoke more. And make third layed of vodka-jelly.

07. Have a shower.

08. Eat again. Forgot about the jelly, and finishes it off.

09-10. Lecture.

10.-14. Stressing in the library.

14.30. Hand in the shittiest essay to this date. Going home.

15. Finally home. Bus went too far, had to walk. Then I was locked out and I nearly cried on the doorstep. But Emma was home, she opened and gave me chocolate and Pepsi Max. She leaves. I watch Gilmore Girls.

16-19. Sleep.

19. Get ready for going out.

21. Talk to Anna in Norway for a while. Germans are slow getting ready.

23. Drinking with the neighbour, Lisa and Lydia. Meeting Charlene for her birthday soon. Call taxi.

23.30. Looking for hotties.

Saturday

02. Go home for sexy times. And sleep.

14. Woke up alone. Love it.

16. Lydia gets up and asks me why I was up so early. Watch tv all day.

18. Get a shower, text Charlene. She’s gonna celebrate her birthday today as well.

19. Charlene, the lightweight, is hungover from yesterday. Party might be cancelled.

20. Party cancelled, going out instead. Gets ready.

22. Eats vodka-jelly.

Sunday

00. Drunk, going to a houseparty.

02. Try to convince Lisa and Lydia to go out with me as the houseparty wasn’t to our liking. They want to go home, we go home.

02.30. Talk to Emma and her boyfriend Kevin, watch a bit of a film with them.

03. In bed watching How I Met Your Mother on laptop. Falls asleep at some point.

15. Wake up. Go downstairs to smoke and watch TV.

16. Eat breakfast and watch Prince Charming.

17. Reads an upsetting email. Falls out with friend.

18. Go around to neighbours handing out a letter for a university project.

18.30. Tidy whole house, new tenants are coming to view it tomorrow.

21. Order chinese food.

22. Stuffed of Chinese food, full and happy. Chain-smoking watching new series of Desperate Housewives. And friends with friend again.

Monday

00. Go to bed. Stay up and Facebook and do silly things.

01.30. Last smoke in bed.

02. Go to sleep.

04. Actual last smoke in bed.

04.20. Go to sleep.

10.  Overslept and was woken by my older brother calling. Was going to get up cause I needed to go to the postoffice.

10.20. Asleep again.

12.22. Woke up. Stressed and got ready.

12.32. Out the door going to the postoffice to pick up makeup ordered from the US.

12.45. At postoffice.

12.50. In shop buying cigarettes and bread.

13. Breakfast and watching Scrubs and Friends and talking to Emma’s friend Aiesha.

15. Watch Gilmore Girls.

16. Do Emma’s makeup with my new Coastal Scents 88 colour palette. Get to work on my dissertation. Can not chain-smoke as I usually do, because people are coming round throughout the week to view the house for renting next year, and we’re not really allowed to smoke inside.

16.20. Am I hungry again?

17.11. Had a piece of toast with French goat’s cheese. Will get to work now. After a cigarette.

18. Had a shower and got ready. Going to the vegan Egg Cafè. They have an open scene with poetry and music and you can bring your own wine.

20. The Egg Cafè was full, have to try again next time. After going to Samrat, Tokyou, Tabac.. We decided on getting food in Top Chef.

22. Then we went home to drink all the wine we had. Party with Emma and her boyfriend Kevin, and a delicious selection of five French people and an English guy.

Tuesday

02. Going to bed early, have to be up tomorrow.

10.30. Woke up very early. Can’t sleep because I’m freaking out about my dissertation. Is annoyed that the house is covered in wine spillage.

12.30 Got out of bed, had a smoke with the Germans and had breakfast.

14. Lecture.

15.15. Home again, watching Gilmore Girls.

16. In my room replying to emails and doing some work for uni.

19. Talk to Lydia and agree not to go to the gym. We are busy being lazy today. Will go tomorrow.

20. Comfort Lisa after she recieves some upsetting news from Germany. And then make dinner. Pizza. Lazy today.

21. Prep Lisa for her meeting a certain someone later.

21.30. Recieve booty call text. Nah. I’m busy being lazy.

23. Facebooking and browsing Youtube while Lydia is colouring her hair.

Wednesday

01. Watch How I Met Your Mother and Scrubs.

03. Bedtime.

13. Woke up. Appearatly, Lydia had tried to wake me, cause she wanted to go to the gym in the morning. Knocking gently on my door and walking in to my room saying my name doesn’t wake me.

14. Breakfast. Stayed in my bedroom smoking and talking to the Germans. Lisa had a hangover, and Lydia was just tired, so they got comfy (and nearly fell asleep) in my bed.

18. Gym.

19. Shower and getting ready. Sent an apologetic email to a friend whom I’ve been talking about behind his back. I felt I owed him an apology. It’s a long story.

20. Dinner. Veg and chicken in a creamy sauce with rice.

22. French girls, Ophéloch, Charlotte and Sarah came over.

23. Girlie night in with Germans Lisa and Lydia, Frenchies Ophéloch, Charlotte and Sarah and English Emma. Cheese and crackers, nachos and dip, chocolate and sweets and wine. Watched sex and the city.

Thursday

02. The Frenchies left and Germans went to bed. Me and Emma stayed up watching The Notebook and I cried me eyes out. And me and Emma was talking about everything and nothing.

05.30. Bedtime. Had about a bottle of wine. Tomorrow I will go to Stevi’s and work on our event for Event Management, which is going to be on Monday. Goodnight, peeps! Hope you enjoyed a week of my life!

My Dissertation: Penny Lane Place Myth

Listening to: James Blunt

Drinking: Water

Reading: comments on draft dissertation

So, I am doing the worlds most interesting dissertation! I’ve finally gotten my arse in gear, and feeling pretty good about it! However, I need your help. I am doing tourism major and a minor degree in human geography. What the hell is human geography, you say? Let me break it down for you. It’s all interpretating the landscape and reading it as if it was a text. It is also a string of different theories about how certain landscapes is created and why. There is a particular theory I like, which is about something called ‘place myth’. Like take Transylvania for example! Do you think of beautiful scenery, lush forests, mountains and meadows? No! You think of castles, dark and crummy dungeons, vampires, superstition, evil and blood. You think of this because of the trend created by Bram Stoker back in 1897. He never went to Transylvania. Ever. Do you see what I mean? A myth has been formed about a place, that may or may not have anything to do with reality.

In my dissertation I will be exploring the myth of Penny Lane. Penny Lane is known all over the world because of the song entitled the same by The Beatles. My dissertation is in tourism, but as you can see, it also ties in nicely with my interest for human geography. I need your help to establish what kind of myths people associate Penny Lane with. Please take this seriously, and only answer if you’ve never been. I will use what I hopefully get out of this to create a questionnaire that I will hand out to Beatles-tourists at Penny Lane. Hopefully, they’ll give me good responses so I can analyse it and write up my dissertation.

So this is extremely important!

I’m just gonna jot down a few things from the lyrics and underline the main assumptions one can make from them. If you have any other clever idea, please let me know so in the comments.

“In Penny Lane there is a barber showing photographs
Of every head he’s had the pleasure to know
And all the people that come and go
Stop and say hello

On the corner is a banker with a motorcar
The little children laugh at him behind his back
And the banker never wears a mac
In the pouring rain…
Very strange

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes
There beneath the blue suburban skies
I sit, and meanwhile back

In Penny Lane there is a fireman with an hourglass
And in his pocket is a portrait of the Queen.
He likes to keep his fire engine clean
It’s a clean machine

<Trumpet Solo>

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes
Four of fish and finger pies
In summer, meanwhile back

Behind the shelter in the middle of the roundabout
A pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray
And though she feels as if she’s in a play
She is anyway

In Penny Lane the barber shaves another customer
We see the banker sitting waiting for a trim
Then the fireman rushes in
From the pouring rain…
Very strange

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes
There beneath the blue suburban skies
I sit, and meanwhile back
Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes
There beneath the blue suburban skies…
Penny Lane.

Poll created by analysing the lyrics, my own personal expectations before I ever went there, and talking to people who’ve never been to Penny Lane and/or Liverpool and/or England. Thanks to family and friends for help! So now please take your time, think about it, and vote vote VOTE!

The results from this poll will be used to create the questionnaire I will use in my dissertation research.

Bitchin’

Listening to: Taylor Swift (Seriously? Yeah, seriously. Listen to “You’re Not Sorry” and then tell me it doesn’t describe every single one of your failed romances.. For girls I mean.)

Reading: about friggin’ Orlando! Damn presentation..

Watching: How I Met Your Mother (addicted)

I’ve had tonsilitis ever since I came back to the UK, and incidentally, it snowed about 5cm and everything was closed down for a week. Kinda great coincidence (that’s not how you spell that, is it?). So I stayed in watching season upon season of Friends and How I Met Your Mother. Uni opened again this week, and I missed a few lectures, but I am all better now, so going in early tomorrow. I knew I had some assignments due on the 18th. I knew I had an essay, and a presentation. The presentation is a piece of cake, the essay is yet to be started. But I also need to hand in a few chapters for my dissertation… Yeahhh.. about that. I’m not ready to hand in anything. Damnit! If I had just gone to the doctor and documented my damn plague-like sickness, I could have got an extention! The plan was to go in to that lecture that was cancelled, get my feedback for previous chapters, and then do the research I need to do for my dissertation the first week back…And then that DAMNED snow!!! And my bloody plague. So I haven’t done any research. How can you hand in a research chapter when the research is yet to be done? If you have the answer to that, that would be great.

So that means, if I fail to meet the draft deadline, I’ll get a 10% deduction. Seriously, there is nothing I want more than to pass this bloody degree! I never thought I would pass. I didn’t come to the UK, having a history of failing and cutting classes thinking I would ace uni! No. I’m not that dumb. I never thought I’d go through first and second year and not fail. I’m now in third year, and I have, this semester as I had last, troubles sleeping and I break out in a rash when I’m stressed. It’s itchy. And, surprisingly, not very sexy!

But I am so distracted. I keep looking at flats (and that just reminded me I haven’t checked today!!! Which I now have to do.) in Drammen, where I want to live in Norway. I got these gorgeous new plates for Christmas, and I now spent £60 on matching cutlery. I spend my time thinking how I will be able to move all my shit back home, how much I’m looking forward to starting my life! To stop living with a foot in each country. How much I look forward to start dating again, without thinking about the whole live-in-two-countries-thing. How I will decorate my flat. My whole life, new home, on my own, working, driving, meeting Norwegian friends, and sexy Norwegians. I think about everything. It feels like my life is about to start! I love being a student, but this is only temporary. I want to grow up allready!

So all in all.. I am shitscared. If I don’t pass, I might have to stay. STAY?!?! I was just about to start my life!!! If I fail and go home, I have to pay back every penny I ever recieved from the Norwegian state educational fund. That’s over £30,000. If I pass it’s only about £16,000. I can’t afford to fail! I am too stubborn and too proud to return home and for always be a failure! If not in every one else’s eyes, then at least in my own.

But I have a problem. I am extremely lazy. I spent today watching a season of How I Met Your Mother, took a long bath, watched some tv, sat down by the laptop to work, and ended up online shopping. I just push everything to the last minute. I need to have a presentation ready for tomorrow to put it together with my group, and I’m fucking blogging! What the fuck is wrong with me?!?

Maybe it’s the fact that I never wanted to study. I was working fulltime and I was just fine. I had a car I had an income. Then my stupid ex-boyfriend got into LIPA. And I fucking apply for all the universities in Liverpool, for all the courses! From nursing to archaeology to tourism. I got into one course. At fucking Hopeless. It was even a conditional offer, that’s how poor my grades were! It was completely random. And I moved countries. And now I’m stuck here finishing what I know I will never ever use. I don’t want to work with tourism! I love it, I do, the lectures are very interesting (at times), the people are great, I love my minor cultural geography.. But what the fuck am I gonna do with a degree in tourism and geography? Brag about it? Throw it randomly into conversations only to have to answer the awkward question “Then why do you work in a kindergarten?”?

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m lazy and uninspired. But I really need this! But if I really need it, why am I so reluctant to put in the work? Inspire me people! Fuck. This is a once in a lifetime thing, and if I fail I’ll be a failure forever. I need to do some work now. My point is, third year at uni is a fucking bitch.

2010! (Read: twenty-ten)

Mood: Awesome

Listening to: Avenged Sevenfold

Reading: Dan Brown

I just know that this is going to be my best year ever! Well, if I pass my degree anyway.  New years eve was excellent. I wasn’t sure what to do that night, but I’m very happy with how I spent it. With my dear Caroline at my best bud Eivind’s place. It was hilarious and an excellent start to the new year! I think that how you celebrate new years eve is directly proportional with how the new year is going to be. Last year was… well. I was very happy with last years at the night, but woke up feeling the usual drunken angst wallow over me. All in all not good. And 2009?? Man, talk about crappy year! Loads of people I’ve spoke to says it was their worst year yet. I agree. But as a friend of mine said, we shouldn’t dismiss it all together, but it wasn’t great. So that’s how I know 2010 is going to be amazing.

I’ve already done one of my new years resolutions! I have a fulltime job waiting for me at home! In a kindergarten. So I’m all set! I switched to light cigarettes  at the stroke of midnight and have still not had a sober proper smoke (one cigarette whilst drunk, does that count? I’d say not.) I’ve been a good girl this year, still not had any random drunken sex, although there was a few oppertuneties.  I’m looking for a flat in Norway. Instead of spending money on that expensive dress I’ve been drooling over, I spent £60 on cutlery to match my new expensive plates.

Yeah, this year is gonna be awesome!

New Years Eve, me and Caroline

About men and dating

So, of course, it’s important to be yourself when you meet new people. As my dear friend Emma cleverly pointed out, if you’re not yourself, the person you may get with will wake up one day and realise they fell in love with a lie.

BUT… There is a very important but… Isn’t dating just a game? And aren’t we all actors? It’s like we talked about in a lecture about identity, identity is an act. And you are the actor. And that act changes with the audience. Don’t come here and tell me that you act the same way around your grandparents as you do on a night out.

So if your identity is an act… then surely, what you put on on a date, or when out manhunting, is also an act. I for example always wear matching underwear. I don’t have all matching underwear! Sometimes it’s bound to be un-matched! And also, all girls have a pair of comfy granny panties. We don’t wear them on a date, do we? How about what you say, what you do? Of course you are yourself. If I’m on a date with say a guy who likes rock music and video games, I say how I would absolutely love to have a PS3, and how I’m planning on buying one when I get a proper job next summer. I also express my love for Metallica, System of a Down, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and my lovely Norwegian death metal bands Satyricon and Dimmu Borgir. I do not say that I’m practically addicted to online shopping and that I also listen to Britney.

It’s all an act! The tricky bit is finding the part that suits yours.

I just wanted to post a few words on that. I think that this is something we all do to lure people inn. Like Carla in Scrubs say; “You gotta let out the crazy in small doses”!

New Years Resolutions for 2010!

1. Pass my degree
2. Get a flat in Drammen
3. Buy a car
4. Get a decent fulltime job
5. Start dating ambitious delicious Norwegian men when moved back to Norway
6. Quit smoking when moving back to Norway (aka. May)
7. Reach goal weight
8. Be fabulous

I think that’s about it. Wish me luck!

New Years Resolutions for 2009: Fail

My new years resolutions for 2009 were

1. Improve my grades and most importantly pass.
2. Reach goal weight (allmost there!)
3. Keep drinking.
4. Keep smoking.
5. Keep having fun, but become more critical towards men.
6. Stay single.
7. Do NOT fall in love as it only leads to unneccessary heart-ache or might make resolution no. 6 difficult.
8. Be better with money. Budget!!!

Right, so I have some fails..

I don’t know if I improved my grades really, I’m pretty much the same. I did reach my goal weight (which is 60-something kg) this summer (as you can see in the photo here), but I was still pretty far off from where I wanted to be. Now I’m 2kg off from being there. So very fail. I did fall in love, and it did lead to unneccessary heart-ache. God I’m so insightful! Soooo…. Lets think of next years resolutions then…

The Emma Rose Story

Tony McCaldon: “I love playing people and getting their sympathy vote”

I want to share Emma’s story with you. Emma is a lovely, caring and sweet girl. Not to mention she is incredibly talented and she’s the lead singer in The DeeDooDahs. She is so much fun! I’ve known Emma for a year. And we can spend a night in chain-smoking and read our tarots and gossip about boys, or have a messy night out, it doesn’t matter with Emma, because she is always fun to be around! She is one of my closest friends in Liverpool and she’s one of my dear housemates.

But lately Emma’s not quite been herself. You see, she was in a long on-and-off relationship with this guy Dave. And unfortuneatly, when I left for Norway this summer, they were off. But this time it was for good! Emma was very upset, and she went out a lot, as we all do, to take her mind of things. She knew she shouldn’t get involved with anyone else so soon after Dave, and she needed some time alone, and she seemed to have made peace with that.

And then came Tony. Tony McCaldon. He was perfect. Such a charmer! She saw him on stage in a club in Liverpool called Heebie Jeebies, and she just knew straight away that she simply had to get to know this guy. After the gig he was swarmed by women, and she just though ‘fuck it’ and went out. After all, if it’s mean to be, it will be, right?

She met him again, and this time they got talking and went for a drink. Of course, after not spending that much time together, they became a couple. He had a gorgeous voice, and sung the kind of songs Emma loves. They were on stage together. He encouraged her own music, and he called her his girl in front of all his and her friends. He told her he loved her only after a week and he praised her. She thought it was way too intense and she wasn’t really ready for anything that serious! But they spent every night together, and they were like the perfect couple that you would just dream of being a part of. He filled her head with things like how he had never felt the same about anyone, and how gorgeous Emma is, and how much she meant to him. The spent six very intense weeks together, and even though Emma didn’t want anything that serious at first, she was completely caught up in it all.

From time to time, when drunk or fucked up on drugs, his friends would say weird things about him. Like he’s a liar, and he’s a cunt and all horrible things! Emma stood up for him, and took sympathy in the fact that his friends were so unsupportive of poor Tony.

However…. After six weeks…. Emma, me, Lydia and Tony were out. We were all going to Baa Bar, and Tony would catch up with us in like 20 minutes. Either way he said if he couldn’t find her later, they’d meet up at our house. He never did. Emma lied awake till 8 in the morning waiting for him, and worrying that he might lie in the gutter somewhere. Or he’d been attacked. Or he’d … you know. The usual list of terrible things.

It’s been about two months now. She never heard from Tony again. She’s seen him a few times. First time she saw him after, he was completely cool and noncholant, and like “how are you babe?” and stuff. But when she started asking questions, he called her a psycho. And all other horrible things. She met him on Halloween. He called her my girl again.

It’s like he keeps hurting her only to pick her up a little bit, give her a little more of sweet sugar-coated false hope.

He has a new girlfriend now. And reliable sources who formerly called him a liar to Emma’s face, can reveal that he in fact is a liar. He does this all the time. At one point during their intense relationship, he told her his guitar was robbed, and he was scared of showing up to his gig, so he went out of Emma instead. He was scared of disappointing them. Later that night, he cried because his guitar was robbed. He was so distressed! But that was a lie. Someone even bought him a new guitar because they felt sorry for him. He’s now got two. He lies all the time and twists everything to his advantage. He has no regard at all for other people’s feelings.

He hasn’t spoke to his mum in eight months (that proved to be a lie), he lives with his nan whom he hardly speaks to either. His ex girlfriend tried to stab him (or was that a lie? Though I can easily see why she would do that.), he does drugs, first thing he does in the morning is open a can of beer. He is a very sad individual, but a dangerous one. He also steals from his friends. Don’t ever get caught up in his web of lies. It will torment you.

It has taken Emma two months to get to the bottom of this. She has not been herself. It has been very sad standing by and watching how it has changed her and tormented her. He filled her head with sweet lies and then dropped her out of the blue.

It has become apperant that he is the psycho. He needs help. He should get therapy and go to rehab. He doesn’t have a decent job, all he does is gigs, and he doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself.

If you ever come across this guy, run fast in the opposite direction before he can open his mouth.

His new girl should watch out. Nothing he says is the truth. All he says is to get sympathy and attention.

Hopefully dear Emma can move on now. And if I ever see his face again, he should be the one to run. Or so help me god… he will be in for the battering of his lifetime.

Is “Normal” The New “Thin”?

 

So I read in Glamour that curves are back in! That actually designers also use “bigger” models now, and that Karl Lagerfeld himself actually sent away three models from a runway show because it looked as if they hadn’t eatien in three weeks.

Remember this one? That’s Lizzie from the US. She’s been referred to as “the belly roll that shook the world” when she appeared on the cover of Glamour US. She’s a size 12-14 (ca eu 44-46) and she weighs 12.5 stone on her 5′11”. (79kg and 180cm) And isn’t she gorgeous?

Look at this picture. I came in my newsletter from Lipsy. And I felt a bit shocked looking at it. Lately all sorts of photomnanipulation exposees have been coming up in the news.

So which do you think is more sexy? Real and natural women, or the ones who obsess about what they eat in order to stay slim? And what about those freaky-looking bug-ladies who are photomanipulated to the unrecogniseable? Any thoughts people?

I’ve been quite annoyed that I’ve got this pot belly of mine. Especially because I’ve been going to the gym for what feels like ages now, and I’m eating strictly healthy. I’ve dropped 8lbs /4kg in about two weeks. Why am I not happy? I’m actually annoyed! Because I feel exactly the same. But looking at those photoes, and especially reading the article in Glamour, I kinda think well what the hell? Why should I care so much?

Curves are back! So go you curvy ladies! Let’s all just strut our fabulous round bootay’s in those skinny people’s faces!

They can never shake it, sha-shake it like us

The Reality of Things

The reality of things is that things aren’t like on film. You don’t meet someone and instantly fall in love. They’re not gonna be asking you out, and they’re not gonna send you flowers. They’re just gonna make you insane thinking about the possible future, and they’re just gonna have you doubt yourself. I’m sorry for being so cynical, but for fucks sake, show me the perfect relationship, and I’ll shut up! Ok, my grandparents are actually perfect… then show me the perfect man! I kinda think… Am I ever going to meet anyone? Anyone worthy spending more than a night with? Anyone capable of having an intelligent conversation with?

I dunno. I feel a bit rejected today. I’d been gathering my courage over night to ask this guy if he wanted to meet me today, him and me, a bottle of wine and a good film. And he said he had too much work to do. I’ve watched Sex and the City, pal! I know what that means. You’re just not that into me. Meantime this other guy asked me out. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t want to go on a date just for the hell of it. I want to go on a date because I really want to. You know?

I’m just so sick of the whole thing. I promised myself (it’s in my bloody new years resolutions for this year even!) that I’d stay single till the end of my studies. But the guy I spent most of the summer trying to get over kinda changed my point of view. I’m sick of having relationships that last the amount of time it takes to get off. But then again… it is riddiculous. Why on earth would I want an English guy now? I’m determined to move back to Norway in May. And I’ve kept them at bay so far. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up, and lay off till then. Find myself a nice Norwegian…

I wish my film was like a romantic comedy! Not like a drama queen style dokumentary filled with drunkenness and disappointments.

To quote myself in the gym today: “Fuck this shit.”

In modern day dating… Who should do the asking out?

I’ve read The Time-Tested Secrets For Capturing The Heart Of Mr. Right, ok? And in there it says the woman should just play the waiting-game, and wait for the man to bring it. Because, apperantly, men are hunters. And they don’t enjoy their “hunt” much if their prey just lie down in front of them spreading their legs. But sometimes you get tired of waiting! If a guy doesn’t ask you out, does that mean he’s simply just not that into you?